69 lines
1.7 KiB
Python
69 lines
1.7 KiB
Python
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#!/usr/bin/python2
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"""
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mylife.py - various commentary on life
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author: Ramblurr <unnamedrambler@gmail.com>
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"""
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import random
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from urllib import quote as urlquote
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from urllib2 import urlopen, HTTPError
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import lxml.html
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def fml(phenny, input):
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""".fml"""
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try:
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req = urlopen("http://www.fmylife.com/random")
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except HTTPError:
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phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.")
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return
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doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
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quote = doc.getroot().find_class('article')[0][0].text_content()
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phenny.say(quote)
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fml.commands = ['fml']
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def mlia(phenny, input):
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""".mlia"""
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try:
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req = urlopen("http://mylifeisaverage.com/")
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except HTTPError:
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phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.")
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return
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doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
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quote = doc.getroot().find_class('story')[0][0].text_content()
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quote = quote.strip()
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phenny.say(quote)
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mlia.commands = ['mlia']
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def mlih(phenny, input):
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""".mlih"""
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try:
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req = urlopen("http://mylifeisho.com/random")
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except HTTPError:
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phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.")
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return
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doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
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quote = doc.getroot().find_class('storycontent')[0][0].text_content()
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phenny.say(quote)
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mlih.commands = ['mlih']
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def mlib(phenny, input):
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""".mlib"""
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try:
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req = urlopen("http://mylifeisbro.com/random")
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except HTTPError:
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phenny.say("MLIB is out getting a case of Natty. It's chill.")
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return
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doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
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quote = doc.getroot().find_class('storycontent')[0][0].text_content()
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phenny.say(quote)
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mlih.commands = ['mlih']
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if __name__ == '__main__':
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print __doc__.strip()
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