phenny-1/modules/mylife.py

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#!/usr/bin/python2
"""
mylife.py - various commentary on life
author: Ramblurr <unnamedrambler@gmail.com>
"""
import random
from urllib import quote as urlquote
from urllib2 import urlopen, HTTPError
import lxml.html
def fml(phenny, input):
""".fml"""
try:
req = urlopen("http://www.fmylife.com/random")
except HTTPError:
phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.")
return
doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
quote = doc.getroot().find_class('article')[0][0].text_content()
phenny.say(quote)
fml.commands = ['fml']
def mlia(phenny, input):
""".mlia"""
try:
req = urlopen("http://mylifeisaverage.com/")
except HTTPError:
phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.")
return
doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
quote = doc.getroot().find_class('story')[0][0].text_content()
quote = quote.strip()
phenny.say(quote)
mlia.commands = ['mlia']
def mlih(phenny, input):
""".mlih"""
try:
req = urlopen("http://mylifeisho.com/random")
except HTTPError:
phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.")
return
doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
quote = doc.getroot().find_class('storycontent')[0][0].text_content()
phenny.say(quote)
mlih.commands = ['mlih']
def mlib(phenny, input):
""".mlib"""
try:
req = urlopen("http://mylifeisbro.com/random")
except HTTPError:
phenny.say("MLIB is out getting a case of Natty. It's chill.")
return
doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
quote = doc.getroot().find_class('storycontent')[0][0].text_content()
phenny.say(quote)
mlih.commands = ['mlih']
if __name__ == '__main__':
print __doc__.strip()