diff --git a/modules/tfw.py b/modules/tfw.py index 3e2d39b..13eccef 100644 --- a/modules/tfw.py +++ b/modules/tfw.py @@ -2,6 +2,9 @@ # -*- coding: utf-8 -*- """ tfw.py - the fucking weather module +mostly remarks and flavors from thefuckingweather.com +http://thefuckingweather.com/HelpThisGuy.aspx + author: mutantmonkey """ @@ -115,7 +118,7 @@ def tfw(phenny, input, fahrenheit=False, celsius=False): "Slap me around and call me Sally. It'd be an improvement.", "Today is the perfect size, really honey.", "Maybe Jersey Shore is on tonight."] - else: + elif w.temperature < 27: remark = "IT'S FUCKING NICE" flavors = [ "I made today breakfast in bed.", "FUCKING SWEET", @@ -139,6 +142,29 @@ def tfw(phenny, input, fahrenheit=False, celsius=False): "The geese are on their way back! Unless you live where they migrate to for the winter.", "FUCKING AFFABLE AS SHIT", "Give the sun a raise!", "Today is better than an original holographic charizard. Loser!"] + else: + remark = "IT'S FUCKING HOT" + flavors = [ + "Do you have life insurance?", + "Like super models, IT'S TOO FUCKING HOT.", + "Not even PAM can make me not stick to this seat", + "SWIMMIN HOLE!", + "Time to crank the AC.", + "THE FUCKING EQUATER CALLED, AND IT'S JEALOUS.", + "Looked in the fridge this morning for some eggs. They're already cooked.", + "Keeping the AC business in business.", + "I burned my feet walking on grass.", + "times you wish you didn't have leather seats", + "Isn't the desert nice this time of year?", + "Why, oh why did we decide to live in an oven?", + "It's hotter outside than my fever.", + "I recommend staying away from fat people.", + "TAKE IT OFF!", + "Even your frigid girlfriend can't save you from today.", + "I need gloves to touch the steering wheel.", + "Lock up yo' ice cream trucks, lock up yo' wife.", + "FUCKING SUNBURNED, AND I WAS INSIDE ALL DAY.", + "Fuck this shit, I'm moving back to Alaska."] if w.descriptor == "thunderstorm": remark += " AND THUNDERING"