#!/usr/bin/python2 """ mylife.py - various commentary on life author: Ramblurr """ import random from urllib import quote as urlquote from urllib2 import urlopen, HTTPError import lxml.html def fml(phenny, input): """.fml""" try: req = urlopen("http://www.fmylife.com/random") except HTTPError: phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.") return doc = lxml.html.parse(req) quote = doc.getroot().find_class('article')[0][0].text_content() phenny.say(quote) fml.commands = ['fml'] def mlia(phenny, input): """.mlia""" try: req = urlopen("http://mylifeisaverage.com/") except HTTPError: phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.") return doc = lxml.html.parse(req) quote = doc.getroot().find_class('story')[0][0].text_content() quote = quote.strip() phenny.say(quote) mlia.commands = ['mlia'] def mlih(phenny, input): """.mlih""" try: req = urlopen("http://mylifeisho.com/random") except HTTPError: phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.") return doc = lxml.html.parse(req) quote = doc.getroot().find_class('storycontent')[0][0].text_content() phenny.say(quote) mlih.commands = ['mlih'] def mlib(phenny, input): """.mlib""" try: req = urlopen("http://mylifeisbro.com/random") except HTTPError: phenny.say("MLIB is out getting a case of Natty. It's chill.") return doc = lxml.html.parse(req) quote = doc.getroot().find_class('storycontent')[0][0].text_content() phenny.say(quote) mlih.commands = ['mlih'] if __name__ == '__main__': print __doc__.strip()