69 lines
1.7 KiB
Python
69 lines
1.7 KiB
Python
#!/usr/bin/python2
|
|
"""
|
|
mylife.py - various commentary on life
|
|
author: Ramblurr <unnamedrambler@gmail.com>
|
|
"""
|
|
|
|
import random
|
|
|
|
from urllib import quote as urlquote
|
|
from urllib2 import urlopen, HTTPError
|
|
import lxml.html
|
|
|
|
def fml(phenny, input):
|
|
""".fml"""
|
|
try:
|
|
req = urlopen("http://www.fmylife.com/random")
|
|
except HTTPError:
|
|
phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.")
|
|
return
|
|
|
|
doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
|
|
quote = doc.getroot().find_class('article')[0][0].text_content()
|
|
phenny.say(quote)
|
|
fml.commands = ['fml']
|
|
|
|
def mlia(phenny, input):
|
|
""".mlia"""
|
|
try:
|
|
req = urlopen("http://mylifeisaverage.com/")
|
|
except HTTPError:
|
|
phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.")
|
|
return
|
|
|
|
doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
|
|
quote = doc.getroot().find_class('story')[0][0].text_content()
|
|
quote = quote.strip()
|
|
phenny.say(quote)
|
|
mlia.commands = ['mlia']
|
|
|
|
def mlih(phenny, input):
|
|
""".mlih"""
|
|
try:
|
|
req = urlopen("http://mylifeisho.com/random")
|
|
except HTTPError:
|
|
phenny.say("THE INTERNET IS FUCKING BROKEN. Please try again later.")
|
|
return
|
|
|
|
doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
|
|
quote = doc.getroot().find_class('storycontent')[0][0].text_content()
|
|
phenny.say(quote)
|
|
mlih.commands = ['mlih']
|
|
|
|
def mlib(phenny, input):
|
|
""".mlib"""
|
|
try:
|
|
req = urlopen("http://mylifeisbro.com/random")
|
|
except HTTPError:
|
|
phenny.say("MLIB is out getting a case of Natty. It's chill.")
|
|
return
|
|
|
|
doc = lxml.html.parse(req)
|
|
quote = doc.getroot().find_class('storycontent')[0][0].text_content()
|
|
phenny.say(quote)
|
|
mlib.commands = ['mlib']
|
|
|
|
if __name__ == '__main__':
|
|
print __doc__.strip()
|
|
|