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tfw: add "it's fucking hot"

master
mutantmonkey 2013-11-26 22:41:48 -08:00
parent 80613962a1
commit 58da599800
1 changed files with 27 additions and 1 deletions
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28
modules/tfw.py
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@ -2,6 +2,9 @@
# -*- coding: utf-8 -*- # -*- coding: utf-8 -*-
""" """
tfw.py - the fucking weather module tfw.py - the fucking weather module
mostly remarks and flavors from thefuckingweather.com
http://thefuckingweather.com/HelpThisGuy.aspx
author: mutantmonkey <mutantmonkey@mutantmonkey.in> author: mutantmonkey <mutantmonkey@mutantmonkey.in>
""" """
@ -115,7 +118,7 @@ def tfw(phenny, input, fahrenheit=False, celsius=False):
"Slap me around and call me Sally. It'd be an improvement.", "Slap me around and call me Sally. It'd be an improvement.",
"Today is the perfect size, really honey.", "Today is the perfect size, really honey.",
"Maybe Jersey Shore is on tonight."] "Maybe Jersey Shore is on tonight."]
else: elif w.temperature < 27:
remark = "IT'S FUCKING NICE" remark = "IT'S FUCKING NICE"
flavors = [ flavors = [
"I made today breakfast in bed.", "FUCKING SWEET", "I made today breakfast in bed.", "FUCKING SWEET",
@ -139,6 +142,29 @@ def tfw(phenny, input, fahrenheit=False, celsius=False):
"The geese are on their way back! Unless you live where they migrate to for the winter.", "The geese are on their way back! Unless you live where they migrate to for the winter.",
"FUCKING AFFABLE AS SHIT", "Give the sun a raise!", "FUCKING AFFABLE AS SHIT", "Give the sun a raise!",
"Today is better than an original holographic charizard. Loser!"] "Today is better than an original holographic charizard. Loser!"]
else:
remark = "IT'S FUCKING HOT"
flavors = [
"Do you have life insurance?",
"Like super models, IT'S TOO FUCKING HOT.",
"Not even PAM can make me not stick to this seat",
"SWIMMIN HOLE!",
"Time to crank the AC.",
"THE FUCKING EQUATER CALLED, AND IT'S JEALOUS.",
"Looked in the fridge this morning for some eggs. They're already cooked.",
"Keeping the AC business in business.",
"I burned my feet walking on grass.",
"times you wish you didn't have leather seats",
"Isn't the desert nice this time of year?",
"Why, oh why did we decide to live in an oven?",
"It's hotter outside than my fever.",
"I recommend staying away from fat people.",
"TAKE IT OFF!",
"Even your frigid girlfriend can't save you from today.",
"I need gloves to touch the steering wheel.",
"Lock up yo' ice cream trucks, lock up yo' wife.",
"FUCKING SUNBURNED, AND I WAS INSIDE ALL DAY.",
"Fuck this shit, I'm moving back to Alaska."]
if w.descriptor == "thunderstorm": if w.descriptor == "thunderstorm":
remark += " AND THUNDERING" remark += " AND THUNDERING"